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Is this a curse?
Do we always have to want what we can’t get?
Is love designed to hurt?
Why am I not good for you
Although I always think you are the best for me?
You think I can’t love you enough?

You think I can’t walk the path with you?
I am not as beautiful as the kind of woman you would want to love?
I am straight but you want a figure 8?
You want someone who would stress you up and make you stand on your toes –
But I don’t want to be the reason why you worry
I want to be the reason why you work at ease and make efforts to better you…
But I see that’s not what you want!
You love chasing but I made it too easy
Then it melted every feeling you seemingly felt
Reduced it to nothing but Friendship… it is something though;
But just “friendship” is nothing compared to the more I want –
Hence I am tempted to stay away
Tempted to run as far away as my legs can carry me,
Tempted to hate you!
But what I feel for you is beyond hatred,
It’s beyond selfishness,
It’s beyond the pain you cause me.
Why do I always find myself in this situation?
Unrequited love hurts!
That I handle pain well doesn’t mean I deserve this much pain.
Now I am burdened with being your friend. *Chuckles*
If you decide to cut off from me totally;
Probably to make me feel good or move on
I am sure I will cry for days –
But I will eventually stop crying,
And the love chase will swing back by 60%
I share a teary smile when you are happy –
Happy talking about someone else.
I am me, I can’t change.
I am super happy for you,
Although I am sad for me.
I know this too shall pass –
I know I will heal –
And I also know I won’t stop loving you.
I don’t know how I will survive this but I have to.
I will start by making sure I don’t set my eyes on you;
Looking at you makes me burn.
Dear love, please get used to the idea of never seeing me again.
I will be here to talk to you;
Via mails, chats, phone calls any way possible:
Asides seeing you eye to eye.
Don’t even think of skype! It has virtually the same effect.
I would walk out wherever I see you;
Not because we are enemies,
But because I can’t stand you anymore –
Till I am fully healed.
I don’t know how long this will take
But I certainly hope it won’t be forever.
This is not a poem, it’s not a letter, and it’s a not a romantic gesture.
It’s a bleeding heart scribbling words from tears,
Trying to make a decision.
The kind of decision that’s almost impossible to stand by.
I know I will miss you –
I miss you as I type.
I feel this sharp pain in my heart each time I think of you.
But it will heal, right?
It has to.

Written By: Elsie Godwin (@elsieisy)

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