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Previously on “On Crimes and Punishment”: EPISODE 1, EPISODE 2

To illustrate, a teeter-totter victim in government service resolved his problem in the original manner. When he got a case that he could not fully decide, he would simply remove the file from the office at night and throw it away. To demonstrate further, ruminate on this: my good friend, Nkem, the reverend father, told me sometime ago that whenever he sees nudity being shamelessly flaunted before him, he metaphorically gorge out his eyes, throw them into the fire and continue his business blindly.

In conclusion, then, let me state my position without qualification or equivocation. I stand solidly behind the school that man is responsible for his every deed. As for the kleptomaniac, seeing somebody else’s unprotected property doesn’t call for it to be stolen. The man going about defiling little girls should be made to understand that he must bear the consequence of his deeds. That is why the criminal justice system is there. The judge will without bating an eyelid send him to the dungeons known as Nigerian prisons — that is, if the gallows or the execution chambers do not favor his undeniable presence, first — where after cooling his sorry behind for years on end, he’ld definitely think twice before mentioning the devil’s name. Coupled with he fact that he’ld be so messed up and worthless that even the devil won’t fancy his shambolic life as a good host anymore. Thank God in our jurisprudence, one would have a hell of a time trying to convince a judge that it was the devil’s deed, not his.

It’s time people start facing reality. Crimes are naturally the result of the whims and caprice of a free-thinking, free-acting individual. Crimes are not made possible by the mysteries of supernatural forces. Every man is responsible for his own deeds, and his actions should teach him a lesson, at least. I find it extremely unbelievable that in this modern age, an individual would still mention the devil when he is caught in a crime.

Sounds pretty insane to me. So for that elderly man in the courtroom who said ‘na de satan na im cus am,’ no satan caused anything, but, rather, your licentious libido did. Your uncontrollable urge for sex did it. With this, whenever you see the devil, be sure to prove to him that he indeed took hold of you and cleverly manipulated the crime for which you were charged and how he managed to outfox law enforcement the whole time until your cup got filled.

 

A word to the sufficient is wise…

 

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