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Nollywood movie producer/social critic Charles Novia recently penned down his usual musings, but this time, about billionaire blogger Linda Ikeji‘s newly acquired Banana Island mansion and those who suddenly seem to remember that she’s single whenever she displays a new acquisition.

In his words, “if Linda needed a ‘big banana’, she sure went to the Island to get one”.

Read below…

‘I’m as straight faced as the soon-to-be employed guards at Linda Ikeji’s new mansion at Banana Island’

‘Jeez! Did you see the pictures? Man, that babe has gone far! She makes me proud. Now, that’s a woman!’


‘She’s got the right juice to inspire the other ladies. Now, don’t start getting ideas about what I infer by the word ‘juice’, when it comes to Linda. By using the word ‘juice’ here in her case, I mean the American street slang from the nineties which means ‘courage’ or ‘guts’. So, in this case, I would say Linda has got the juice. And it’s not German by any standard, just pure Naija Igbo juice. ‘

‘Why do I think you are being funny here? Anyway, Linda has proved that there are no limits to her skies.’

‘Yeah, she’s resourceful too. I have been chuckling at those who suddenly seem to remember that she’s single whenever she displays a new acquisition. Forgive the pun but if she needed a big Banana, she sure went to the island to get one! Way to go’

‘I’m lost here. What does that mean?’

‘Nothing. But I have my reservations though, whilst congratulating her. The Tax Authorities will not spare her next year. By allowing her sister announce the house on Banana Island, the tax people will literally go Bananas and her valued assets will make the government richer next year. Not to talk of the crazy Property Tax on Banana Island properties. I used to live there you know, so I know what the koko is; and I am not talking about that limp koko; if you feel me , Nigga’

‘Hmm. One can never tell with you. Should I order your usual drink?’

‘Yes. A cold bottle of water’


Source – CharlesNovia

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