Recap of DESIRE’S JOURNAL (Episode 2)
And now EP 3….
My name is Rose and it rhymes with Rolls, I know you like to be like James and you Hadley Chase o but I’m a single lady and I never plural o….
*Back to reality*
I know you might be confused, no need to worry, it’s still me Desire (not rose) and I just survived the most horrible experience.
After the date with Mr Bar Man, who I think is a mad man BTW, he has been trying to destroy my life with a merciless display of affection (in falzthebahdguy’s voice) —calls, WhatsApp messages…blah blah blah and apparently, he misses me! Chai…stories that touch that touch the heart and scratch the bum bum. I can’t even point out what exactly pisses me off about him, whether it’s the fact that he just keeps calling me “Baby” …FYI (I HATE THIS) or that he keeps saying I don’t want to see him, obviously, do you need to consult IFA for that one again?
Anyways I decided to take an actual break, old age doesn’t really start knocking until I’m 25 right? I know I’m lying to myself but just let me be! I have now directed all my energy to my work and my ICSAN classes.
Ehn…back to the original story I was telling you…
Being a person that values promises, I was doing my best to stay true to my words when one gracious day after one of ICSAN classes, as the amebo that I am, I was trying to get all the latest and hot gists from some girls whenbreathes in, finds it difficult to breathe out, Mr TALL, DARK AND HANDSOME walks up to me looking like RMD in a younger version hmm hmmm hmmm chocolate delight.
Hi, Please excuse me, OMG, his voice doesn’t let his looks down I swear! putting on my polite cloak, I just smiled and we start talking, exchange numbers and I actually gave him my BBM PIN. So the story began, early morning calls, pings, text messages, every day… in fact it felt like we couldn’t stop talking to each other, date nights at wonderful places.
Well, they say all is good that ends well, trust me this didn’t end well.
One night, Mr Perfect Gentleman invites me over to his extra-amaze balls condo for dinner and I wore my sexy underwear (someone was bound to get lucky…after all he had been such a good boy). He made dinner, which was splendid; spaghetti bolognese avec meatballs. We were clearing the dishes when I heard the knock, I thought it was his landlord o, probably coming to ask for the month’s rent, so, I simply ignored it and went to the kitchen.
Seeing that I didn’t make a move, he went to check who it was. If this were a Nollywood movie, the soundtrack would change at this point. I stayed where I was until I heard someone shouting where is she? This mad person continued shouting until she found me.
I was just staring like…OK, can someone tell me what’s going on? Then she started crying and asked why I was sleeping with her FIANCE…AH! MO GBE!
Thank God we didn’t get to “that part” yet but only a stupid person would have tried to explain that to this raging black woman, so I just started praying to my God to get out of this ugly situation .
Unfortunately, I had to wait for the aunty to gist me how she & the he-goat had been dating for 5 years and were even going to get married in a few months. SKIBOROBOSKIBO SKIBOROBOSKIBO OSHE BADDEST, I SALUTE THIS GUY SHA (all in my head o).
Just Leave! I don’t have any problems with you…FINALLY! Please note that Mr. Perfect Gentleman went missing immediately she came into the house and has not been found. If you see him, please call the police.
Hmmm….My Nigerian Guys, help us so we can help you o but he is a yoruba boy sha so I’m not so surprised.
Date 3, 0-10…I LEAVE THIS TO YOU TO DECIDE.
To be continued Next week…
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