As human beings, we live in a society where social interaction is needed. We get into such interactions by relating with people we find ourselves with.
In my express opinion, life’s greater happiness lies in good relationships and relatively, life’s deepest pain is found in bad relationships. Hence, most relationships end up being bad as a result of people’s misunderstanding about the nature and concept of love.
In relationships, we have two stages: The Obsessive stage and The Covenant stage.
The obsessive stage: At this stage, one lives under the illusion that the person with whom they are in love with is perfect. People around can notice your partner’s flaws apart from you. Hence, most people get married having the same illusion that marriage is all roses.
The covenant Stage: Here, the obsession towards each other begin to fade because you realise other bigger life pursuits that it reduces the the eagerness to pursue and fight for who you truly love. More flaws are also observed and if care is not taken it ends up tarnishing a worthy relationship.
To help a relationship survive this stage is by learning the five love languages. The covenant love sustains relationship because love becomes more conscious. These five love languages include the following:
– Words of Affirmation
– Quality Time
– Act of Service
– Physical Touch.
The problem yet is that we tend to speak our own love language to others. Individuals have their own primary love language of which when shown, it is well appreciated but if expressed in your own primary language, it might make no sense to the person it is expressed to.
Most dating relationships become frustrated and troubled especially when they have died out of the obsessive stage of love. This is not because they cannot be remedied but because both parties have failed to discover and speak each other’s primary love language to themselves.
What do these primary love languages mean and how does it help your dating relationships?
To be continued….
QOTD: “Our most basic emotional need is not to fall in love but to be genuinely loved by another, to know a love that grows out of reason and choice, not instinct.”― Gary Chapman
Researched, compiled and written by:
Sade Mary-Anne Popoola
….As culled from Dr Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages
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